Who woulda thought that the “forever” in Forever 21 was actually an acronym? Below, you can find the top secret meaning of the store’s title that the clerks don’t want you to know. For your convenience, I’ve attached links to the website in case you want to buy a present for that special shithead in your life.
- F stands for Fugly, as evidenced by this sweatshirt showcasing the retired Walmart smilie wearing a geezerish bowtie. His eyes have changed into hearts over time due to him relentlessly staring at little boys.
- O stands for Overseas. While I appreciate the fact that Forever 21 is desperately trying to be Takeshita Dori– and in Japan, Minnie Mouse is totally badass– in America, Minnie Mouse gear should be reserved for girls age 10 and under. If you are in your teen years or older and wear this, I will personally see to it that I punch you in the face. (more…)
7. The Plethora of Made-For-TV “ABC Family Original” Movies: Weighed against such gems as Revenge of the Bridesmaids, Pizza My Heart, and Karate Dog, Lindsay Lohan’s Labor Pains could actually be considered a good film. Except not.
6. The Secret Life of the American Teenager: Their lives are so secret that everyone knows everyone else’s secrets. Barely attractive, terrifyingly horrendous actors pretend to sleep around. Everyone is pregnant, including that one guy who looks oh so much like a girl. In fact, most of the stars look like they used to be the opposite gender of what they are allegedly now. I vote a title change to “The Secret Life of the American Tranny”.