If you haven’t heard about the Gummy Bear Dress, allow me to fill you in. Someone made a dress out of 50,000 gummy bears that weighs 220 lbs because they were so inspired by the awesome Alexander McQueen dress pictured below that they just had to
plagiarize recreate it in gelatin-based candies.
It made me realize that I’ve missed several golden opportunities to make my own interpretations of beautiful things out of random crap. If only the bed I made out of graham cracker crumbs hadn’t been carried away by the ants. The ants. So many ants… so many… there wasn’t time…
Oh well. The good news is, there’s no shortage of artistic people with a few screws loose who get struck by inspiration the way I got struck by a shopping cart in a Kroger parking lot
because I tried to steal an old lady’s newly bought denture cleaner so I could see what it tasted like for no reason. People get inspired all the time, and they put the products of their inspirations online:
…I started a fashion blog! So far it’s really pathetic and has no followers, but yay anyway! It’s called No Crocs Allowed because Crocs are terrible. I will personally see to it that anyone under the age of 40 who wears them eats a poo pie. Anyway, since I update this blog so regularly, it just makes sense that I’d start another one. So go troll my new blog, please and thank you.
Often times, I’ve found myself flipping through the pages of fashion magazines only to be supremely confused, mostly by the farms. The farms, the farms! Why do so many photo shoots happen on farms? Farmers don’t wear ball gowns when they milk their cows. They wear, like, unfashionable stuff. Like overalls (sorry for making you picture overalls… you can go throw up now). This phenomenon has been going on for years and it has never made sense. Not that fashion makes any sense, really, except for making some of us feel bad and some of us feel amazing. But no one feels amazing in Valentino if they’re loading hay bales into the back of a rusty pick-up, so why are farms a staple of high fashion advertising?
I think this is from America’s Next Top
Attention Whore Model. I’m not even gonna ask what’s up with the black thing she’s eating. All that matters is that a model is actually eating… while jumping up and down on what looks like a road paved with cow poo.
It’s Christmas time, so it only makes sense that I should write about last Halloween. Here’s a step-by-step guide of how to turn yourself into that herpes-infested pumpkin lady we all love to loathe so much.