This past Friday, I attended the State Fair of Texas. It was fun, but the nutritional equivalent of fried turd I ate mandated that this weekend be X-TREEM DETOX WEEKEND. X-TREEM DETOX WEEKEND is my specially formulated diet plan to lose bulk without improving overall health. It involves a lot of diet soda. I guess it’s more of an anti-detox… but detox sounds better so it’s X-TREEM DETOX WEEKEND, with a completely unnecessary but nonetheless effectively aggressive misspelling of “extreme”! So tape Coke Zero cans to your hands and start downing my patented X-TREEM DETOX DIET PILLS!