I know. This is something we’re not supposed to admit. I say “we” because you do it too.
Cyber stalking. Cyberstalking. Is it one word or two? I’m going with one from here on out because… um… regardless:
Cyberstalking: America’s pastime (like it was ever really baseball anyway).
I used to think the biggest consequence of cyberstalking was being thought of as weird or creepy, or, more rarely, having the person you’re cyberstalking catch you in the act and having them ask, “Why is my name in your Google search bar?” and you’re like, “Uhhhhh I was just testing my search engine to make sure it worked” and they’re like, “I don’t believe you” and you’re like, “Well you shouldn’t be looking at my computer screen anyway” and they’re like, “That’s my computer and this is my house and how the hell did you get in here?!”
Ahem. Anyway, since I openly admit I am both weird and creepy, the stigma of cyberstalking someone (usually someone I’m attracted to) rarely keeps me from doing it. Not anymore though. Never again.
Or maybe always again.
That probably doesn’t make sense to you. Allow me to explain: (more…)
Like this:
Like Loading...
July 22, 2012 | Categories: Bored, Comedy, Death, Humor, Internet, Love, Uncategorized, WTF | Tags: attraction, boy, crazy, creep, creeper, creeping, creepy, cross dress, crush, cyber, cyberstalking, Facebook, funny, goth, guy, identity, insane, Lars von Trier, lesson, lie, life, online, peek, persona, personality, profile, scary, split, stalking, weird | 4 Comments »
There’s a new movie coming out that’s going to change your life more than any other movie you’ve ever seen ever in the entire world everywhere ever. It’s called Speak Jon Wilson and it’s amazing.
The only problem is that it’s not coming out for a while. Is that really a problem, though? No, no it is not. Why? Well, I’m glad you asked.
Webisodes.
Speak Jon Wilson is making a ton of “behind the scenes, before the movie” webisodes for your YouTube enjoyment. No need to leave the house or put down your cheese puffs, because you can watch them from the comfort of your chair, bed, table, floor, trashcan or bathtub. I don’t recommend holding a laptop while you’re in the tub, since there’s a slight chance you could, you know, die, but this is America and you have freedom of self-electrocution, so I won’t stop you. Regardless of where you’re watching these webisodes, just make sure you watch them. You can even send suggestions for what kind of stuff you want to see in them to TriumviratePicturesTX@gmail.com.
Don’t worry, these webisodes won’t be your typical behind-the-scenes bullshit, like, a voiceover from the director with a bunch of B-roll of scripts and set lights and production assistants passing out from exhaustion. I mean, there might be a couple of those types of videos, but a lot of what you’re going to see is gonna be badass. I’d go into more detail, but I don’t want to give anything away.
The webisodes aren’t going to start coming out until next week, but rest assured I’ll link to them when the time comes. For now, go to facebook.com/speakjonwilson and “like” the page. If you don’t, you know I’ll find you anyway, so just do it before things get all messy and borderline illegal. Gracias!
Like this:
Like Loading...
August 1, 2011 | Categories: Awkward, Bored, Comedy, Death, Humor, Internet, Movies, Pop Culture, Time, TV, Uncategorized, Wellness, WTF | Tags: action, America, B roll, badass, bathtub, boobs, camera, Dallas, DFW, electrocution, episodes, exhaustion, Facebook, film, going global, illegal, independent, indie, indie films, Justin Bieber, lights, like, links, movies, online, PA, PAs, production, production assistants, production company, Ryan Gosling, scripts, set, social media, Speak Jon Wilson, Sundance, synergy, Texas, trifilms, Triumvirate Pictures, TX, United States, USA, video, videos, voiceover, webisodes, YouTube | Leave A Comment »
I gulped so intensely I knew she could hear it. Stupid Adam’s apple.
“Hhhheh,” I croaked. That was loser for “hi”.
“Hi, Cavan,” she said. “I—”
“Shelby! What happened to your nose?” Emilio asked.
“Cavan punched her,” Andy said, French fries dropping out of his mouth.
(more…)
Like this:
Like Loading...
February 16, 2011 | Categories: Awkward, Bored, Comedy, Fiction, High School, Humor, Love, Pop Culture, Romance, Uncategorized | Tags: Aliens, Andy Summers, awkward, best friends, Cavan, class, Dear Abby, embarrassment, Facebook, fear, gay, hair, high school, I Punched a Girl, I Punched a Girl: Part VII, jokes, Just Like Heaven, Loch Ness Monster, love story, reasons why I'm gay, romance, romantic comedy, Ryan Sheckler, Shelby Waters, shit my cake says, shitmycakesays, skateboarding, TV, YouTube | Leave A Comment »
This year, I cannot celebrate Valentine’s Day and must instead celebrate Singles Awareness Day. You see, I recently got dumped. It was for the best, though, because my ex was practically verbally abusive. He’d say unnecessarily hurtful things, like, “I don’t think you should carry that gun on school property” and “I find it somewhat strange that you’ll only sleep on mattresses stuffed with human hair” and “I think your collection of disembodied doll heads is a little creepy”. I mean, dragging my doll heads into his personal problems? What a freak.
Anyway, because I’m single now, I’ve made a list of fun things single people can do on Singles Awareness Day (SAD):
(more…)
Like this:
Like Loading...
February 13, 2011 | Categories: Awkward, Bored, Comedy, Holidays, Humor, Internet, Pop Culture, Uncategorized, WTF | Tags: $13000 watch, amusement, army, bf, bikini, Blockbuster, book, break up, Breaking the Waves, butts, canoe, canoeing, canoeing in cold weather, casual sex, cats, celebrate, celebration, church, cold weather, comedy, condom, couples, crazy, Dancer in the Dark, dancing, dating, death in seven days, depressing movies, doll collection, doll head collection, ex, ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriend, expensive clothes, Facebook, Facebook profile, family friendly, Feb 14, February 14, feces, four wheelers, freak, friends, fun, fun things to do, funny, garden gnomes, getting dumped, getting laid on Valentine's Day, gf, gnomes, Go Taco Bell Surfing, gun, hairy, Have a Romantic Comedy Movie Marathon, Hit Up a Nightclub, Home Depot, homemade, horny, Hotel Rwanda, locker room, mall, mashed potatoes, mate, mattresses with human hair, meat filler, men, Million Dollar Baby, mom, neighborhood, night club, nonmeat, overweight, paint, paint the town red, paint trees, parking lot, personal problems, pigeon poop, pigeons, pool, poor people, potatoes, preschooler, public swimming pool, rat poison, Read a Where’s Waldo Book While Steering a Canoe in a Public Swimming Pool, red paint, romance, romantic comedies, romantic movies, Run Over Potatoes with a Four-Wheeler in a Church Parking Lot, SAD, school, Send Your Ex Supportive Facebook Messages, Seven Pounds, single, Singles Awareness Day, small children, social, socialize, Sophie’s Choice, speeding, strangers, stray cats, surfing, swim, swimming, Taco Bell, tacos, teens, Thanksgiving, The Fly, Tie Garden Gnomes on Local Stray Cats’ Backs, towel, town, Valentine's Day, Walk Alone in a Bad Neighborhood, walking along at night, walking through a bad neighborhood, watch you sleep, wet, wet towel, Where's Waldo, Whip Prospective Mates’ Butts with a Wet Towel, X games | Leave A Comment »
