Jacob Black, Bella Boringface, and Edward Cullen of the Twilight franchise.
We’ve all been plagued by nightmarish apparitions of teens wearing “Team Edward” and “Team Jacob” t-shirts, and we all want this headache of a franchise to die a fiery death. The only way to kill the Twilight phenomenon, though, is to solve the question everyone’s asking: Who’s hotter? Jacob or Edward?
I’d make a list of pros and cons, but neither candidate has any pros, so I’ll just weigh the cons:
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November 19, 2010 | Categories: Awkward, Bored, Comedy, Fiction, Humor, Movies, Pop Culture, Uncategorized | Tags: abs, Battle of the Bods, Bella, blood, boys, cold dildo, cooking, drug addict, drugs, eating disorder, Eclipse, Edward Cullen, fantasy, gross, handsome, Indians, Jacob abs, Jacob Black, Kristin Stewart, New Moon, Nick Nolte, old, pain, pedophile, racist, Robert Pattinson, shit my cake says, Taylor Lautner, Taylor Lautner abs, Twilight, ugly, vagina, vampire, werewolf, winter, young | Leave A Comment »
You know what’s fun? A day without homework. A day without homework is awesome. Especially if it’s a Friday.
That is all.
Except that’s not all. Watch this.
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October 2, 2010 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Buffy vs Edward, busy, college, Edward Cullen, Friday, Harry Potter, homework, October, one, remix, Robert Pattinson, Sarah Michelle Gellar, seasons, series, simple, student, thought, Twilight | 1 Comment »
I have broken it down into two categories: Reasons Why Stephanie Meyer Should Be Assassinated and Reasons Why Stephanie Meyer Should Not Be Assassinated.
Reasons Why Stephanie Meyer Should Be Assassinated:
1. Vampires Suck: This movie looks like the worst thing since Birdemic*. Why does it exist? Because Twilight exists. Therefore Stephanie Meyer is responsible for it.
2. Nordstrom: I no longer have any respect for Nordstrom’s juniors department. All the clothes are now Twilight-themed thanks to Meyer’s horrendous book, and if that wasn’t disturbing enough, they also sell life-size cardboard cut-outs of Twilight characters, which you can buy here. Times are tough, though, so I recommend pinching a few pennies by cutting your own firewood.
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August 7, 2010 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: assassinate, Bella, book, Die, Edward Cullen, Jacob Black, list, Live, Nordstrom, reason, Regretsy, Robert Pattinson, Stephanie Meyer, stupid, Taylor Lautner, Team Edward, Team Jacob, Twilight | 8 Comments »
Jacob Black, Bella Boringface, and Edward Cullen of the Twilight franchise.
