The Kabbalah Church of Buddhist Latter-Day Chewing Gum
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure, and apparently, one man’s used gum is another man’s crucifix.
Fatty Liar Caroline
I began a random game of Words With Friends under the guise that all the words must be encompassed in a short story, in the order they were played. My opponent was named “To good 4 u pplz”, which is interesting since I beat her by 80 points (144 to 64, before she resigned) and her name is both obnoxious and grammatically incorrect. Mid-game, she changed her name to “GucciGirlie”, which isn’t much better, but it’s still a clear sign that whoever she is, she’s easy to beat. So start a game with her and feel good about yourself! Yay!
All the words used in the game are in bold.
Caroline the Fatty
Caroline was a fatty. She was so fat that whenever she took a step, she put a hole in the floor, even steel floors. She was also a liar, since she told everyone she only weighed 120 lbs, when she clearly weighed at least 280.
One day, Caroline decided to discover religion. She visited a few wats*, which were oddly located in Oklahoma, and asked Buddha to help her lose weight. She stomped through the floorboards of one particular wat and knelt at the feet of a bronze Buddha statue.
“Let’s make a deal, Buddha,” she said. “You make me thin, and I’ll sell all my fat to charity.”
