Posts tagged “bad

The Top 7 Things Wrong with the ABC Family Channel

7. The Plethora of Made-For-TV “ABC Family Original” Movies: Weighed against such gems as Revenge of the Bridesmaids, Pizza My Heart, and Karate Dog, Lindsay Lohan’s Labor Pains could actually be considered a good film. Except not.

6. The Secret Life of the American Teenager: Their lives are so secret that everyone knows everyone else’s secrets. Barely attractive, terrifyingly horrendous actors pretend to sleep around. Everyone is pregnant, including that one guy who looks oh so much like a girl. In fact, most of the stars look like they used to be the opposite gender of what they are allegedly now. I vote a title change to “The Secret Life of the American Tranny”.

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You’re Cut Off

From left to right: Pam, Jessica, Jaqueline, Gia, Amber, Courtnee, Leanne, Erica, Chrissy

Hi, I’m Sara, and I’m a VH1 reality show addict.

My latest shameful addiction is/was You’re Cut Off, the show where actresses desperate for a big break—I mean, girls who can’t control their spending—are “fooled” into living in a middle class house with boring/ugly décor and be all normal and stuff.

The Cast:

Erica: A Barbie who somehow came to life and escaped the Mattel factory despite her enormous breasts weighing her down. People think she’s dumb, but they don’t know the whole story. She acts like an airhead to avoid revealing top secret Mattel information and being hunted down by zombie Ruth Handler’s army, the Masters of the Universe.

Gia: A hookah junkie who won’t change her own daughter’s diapers. Her clothes are allegedly expensive, but it looks like she grabbed them out of the $3 bin at L’Patricia.

Jaqueline: Likeable, but a little ugly, so she’ll never really make it in the music industry, which she obviously went on the show for. Her voice isn’t good enough to make her some kind of Susan Boyle, either. Sorry, Jackie. Maybe you should try becoming a professional Bikini Blast workout trainer, even though your patented Bikini Blast workout, which must be done in stilettos, is only 20% likely to get you in shape as opposed to the whopping 80% chance of spraining your ankle.

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