In keeping with my current trend of posting videos long after it’s relevant to post them, here’s another video.
A few weeks ago was Fashion’s Night Out. If you don’t know what that is, you’re lame. Sorry, but it’s true. Don’t feel too bad, though, because this year I was lame, too. I only went to the Northpark Mall for FNO festivities and missed out on some pretty cool stuff. Wah wah wah. There’s always next year. Anyway, while I was there I took some video clips, all of which I later realized were super awful and shaky. Like, in-a-paddle-boat-in-the-middle-of-the-ocean-during-a-storm-and-also-there-are-dogs-trying-to-bite-you shaky. Free Neiman Marcus champagne + my already shaky hands = terrible cameraperson. Anyway, I salvaged what I could, and this video features some new Ted Baker looks, so if you’re like me and scream, “TED BAKER!” in crazed excitement whenever someone mentions the brand, take a look-see.
You only need one kidney. I’m not suggesting anything illegal per say, but organs can get you some pretty good moolah on the black market (BM for those of us in the know… wait, no—BM is bowel movement). You’re going to need two heaping handfuls of cold hard cash if you’re going to afford this bad boy:
Justin Bieber (or as I like to call him, Justin Gerber) is a pop sensation, and as such, it is his duty to amass large quantities of money by plastering his face to everything. Such is capitalism. There is a line, though, between Bieber Fever and Bieber Schizophrenia. Bieber Fever inspires a lot of merchandise, like t-shirts, posters, and teddy bears. Bieber Schizophrenia, on the other hand, generates weird crap like this:
12. JB Barbie: Yeah, Barbie, not Ken. You can’t expect me to look at that face and see a man. And how weird does this thing look? It’s just, like, staring… looking nowhere in particular, probably wishing its hair wasn’t painted onto its head like that. Maybe it’s the failed-decapitation neck slit that’s throwing me off, but something about this G.I. Joe-gone-wrong just doesn’t sit right with me.
Thrift stores aren’t known for having the trendiest, cleanest, or most hair-free clothes, but occasionally you can find some cool stuff in them. You can also find really ugly stuff, as evidenced by the following photos:
This negligee appears to be from Bill Cosby’s new lingerie collection, Space Pudding. It debuted at Fashion Week in the “No More Faking Headaches” tent.