Weird, Very Not-Sexy Boobs

Since oh-so-many people seem to find my blog via classy variations on the search term “boobs”, I decided to pay homage to this one little word that has brought me so much porn-seeking traffic…

Mickey Mouse Boobs

Here we have a lovely mother-daughter duo sporting what I can only describe as Walt Disney’s wet dream. You’re a sick one, Mr. Disney.

I finally understand why Marilyn Monroe didn’t go topless all the time. It was because she had two genetic cartoon nightmares sprouting from her chest. Let this be a lesson to you, young girls. Having affairs with presidents will lead you to Disney-related breast infection. I shudder to think what happened to Monica Lewinsky.

This appears to be some kind of plastic blow up doll’s mouse chesticles. Perfectly normal.

Man Boobs

The thing that disturbs me about this gentleman is not the fact that he has hanged beer bottles on his teets with reckless abandon, but that he appears to be incredibly apathetic about wetting himself. If this is what he’s like sober, I’d hate to see him when he’s drunk.

Cute bra. Can I borrow it sometime? Please pick the hair out before I use it.

Unnatural Boobs

Any trainer worth his or her salt will tell you that working out in high heels is always a good idea. Swimming is an especially good high-heeled workout when you have two giant flotation devices in your shirt.

She’s a shoo-in for the three-boobed race.

Some people claim to have eyes in the back of their head, and some people have boobs in the back of their… back.

…and some people just have eyes in their boobs.

Miscellaneous Boobs

Someone got a little too happy with the temporary tattoos.

Before you jump on Anne Hathaway for illegal animal smuggling, just remember that she’s not as bad as this guy.