WordPress allows me to check my blog’s stats. How many hits I get on my blog per day, which posts got the most views, what people click on, etc. It also allows me to see what you guys (or spammers) searched in Google to find my blog. I’ve compiled a list of the most WTF search terms that led people to Shit My Cake Says. Granted, the people who typed these particular keywords probably didn’t stick around to read anything, but for those of you who do, I give you this:
My Favorite Search Terms People Put in Google or Ask Jeeves (No, No One Uses Ask Jeeves Anymore) or Whatever to Find My Blog
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November 19, 2010 | Categories: Bored, Comedy, Humor, Internet, Pop Culture, Uncategorized, WTF | Tags: after school special, alcoholic, alphabet, Ask Jeeves, Ask.com, big bucket of horrible meat, bizarre stuff involving Japan, blog, cat black poop, celebrity trivia, congratulations, count, did the song power from kanye west kill Japanese, disgusting Oprah, do ghosts slam, fat man naked, favorite, general grossness, girl ist shitting on cake, Google, hits, Hoarders, hoarding excrement, hoarding human feces, hoarding shit, horrible names for penis, Horrible names who are being mean to u, Hot Young Naked Men, Internet, intervention, Japan, Japanese turning feces into bacon, Kanye West, Kanye West Power albino, list, masturbating on pizza, masturbation, Men Masrubating, miscellaneous, old men, Oprah, pedophiles, penis couture, poop, poop cat, poop hoarder, Power, read, readers, Robert Levon Been, Robert Levon Been is hot, sadomasochism, search engine, search terms, sex, shit my cake says, someone punched me in the nose and its bleeding, statistics, stats, Superman, toddler, views, wordpress, WTF | 1 Comment »
Jacob Black, Bella Boringface, and Edward Cullen of the Twilight franchise.
We’ve all been plagued by nightmarish apparitions of teens wearing “Team Edward” and “Team Jacob” t-shirts, and we all want this headache of a franchise to die a fiery death. The only way to kill the Twilight phenomenon, though, is to solve the question everyone’s asking: Who’s hotter? Jacob or Edward?
I’d make a list of pros and cons, but neither candidate has any pros, so I’ll just weigh the cons:
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November 19, 2010 | Categories: Awkward, Bored, Comedy, Fiction, Humor, Movies, Pop Culture, Uncategorized | Tags: abs, Battle of the Bods, Bella, blood, boys, cold dildo, cooking, drug addict, drugs, eating disorder, Eclipse, Edward Cullen, fantasy, gross, handsome, Indians, Jacob abs, Jacob Black, Kristin Stewart, New Moon, Nick Nolte, old, pain, pedophile, racist, Robert Pattinson, shit my cake says, Taylor Lautner, Taylor Lautner abs, Twilight, ugly, vagina, vampire, werewolf, winter, young | Leave A Comment »
The Sexy Supernatural Boys: Jared Padalecki, who plays Sam Winchester, and Jensen Ackles, who plays Dean Winchester
Let’s be honest. Supernatural has jumped the shark.
Once upon a time, it was an awesome show. Even now, it has a few worthwhile episodes mixed in with the turdy ones. Like, a few actual Godiva truffles mixed in with those Godiva “gems” you can buy at CVS that are pretty sucky and disappointing. But do you really want to suffer through all that crappy chocolate, those assaults on your taste buds, before getting to the deliciousness? Does anyone relate to this reference, or even understand it? No? Well, that’s okay. My point is this: no. No, you do not want to suffer through crap just for the chance you’ll see something good.
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November 17, 2010 | Categories: Awkward, Bored, Comedy, Creepy, Fiction, Humor, Love, Pop Culture, TV, Uncategorized | Tags: abs, ADD, angels, attention span, Battle of the Bods, brothers, chocolate, Christmas, Christmas songs, cute, CVS, Dean, Dean Winchester, demons, episodes, erotic, finale, game, gay, gay sex, ghosts, ghouls, Godiva, handsome, Hollywood, homoerotic, hot, hot brothers, hot guys, incest, Jared Padalecki, Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles kissing, Jensen Ackles, jump the shark, kiss, make out, Music, mute, ripped, Sam, Sam and Dean, Sam and Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, season, sexy, sexy men, shirtless, shirtless man, shirtless men, shirtless wet guy, shower, Silent Night, six pack, suffer, Supernatural, television, the colt, truffles, TV, wet, Wicked Little Things | 2 Comments »
Once, I met I man named Andy. He took me on a magical train ride and made me play with plush bushes of card decks. Then he jibbled at stuff, whatever that means. He bought me a pet hot air balloon named Sally, and Sally and Danny, Andy’s cross between a chihuahua and a parakeet, barfed all over the sunrise. Fruit Roll-ups were had by all, but not before we poured milk in the Siamese river and sang the Banana Boat sunscreen jingle. Then Santa came and we boogie-oogie-oogied ’til we just couldn’t boogie no mo’. Then Andy’s pants ripped so we went to Fabric Hospital, but it was scary in there so Sally chomped a chimp face and panda bears ran wild. All that glittered was mold.
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November 11, 2010 | Categories: Awkward, Bored, Comedy, Drugs, Fiction, Food, Humor, Uncategorized, WTF | Tags: Albertson's, Andy, chimney, chin, drugs, eating so many noodles it's like you're high but you're not really high, food, high, hot air balloon, huh?, hungry, John Stamos, kisses, Milky Way, pajamas, parakeet, Ramen, ramen noodles, Santa, shit my cake says, Slinky, story, Taco Bell, tummy, WTF | Leave A Comment »
I woke up in a cold sweat with bloodshot eyes. My mouth felt dry, but I couldn’t get up to get a drink. I’d also been using so much in the past 24 hours that I’d forgotten where my fridge was.
But I didn’t care about any of that. I had to have more.
More Korean soap operas.
It all started when, for whatever unknown reason, Hulu recommended that I watch Personal Taste.
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November 1, 2010 | Categories: Bored, Comedy, Humor, Love, Pop Culture, TV, Uncategorized | Tags: 16, 25, addiction, Boys Before Flowers, Boys Over Flowers, Chang Ruhyl, Chu Ga Eul, crack, cry, DAAM, Design and Arts Arcadia of Myungseung, disappointment, dramas, drugs, emotional, entertainment, Gaeinui Chwihyang, Geum Jan Di, Goo Hye Sun, Gu Jun Pyo, happy, Hulu, Jan Di, Jeon Jin Ho, K drama, Kim Bum, Kim Hyun Joong, Kim In Hee, Kim Joon, Kim So Eun, Korean, Lee Min Ho, love, MBC, Mischievous Kiss, Naughty Kiss, Park Gae In, Personal Preference, Personal Taste, Playful Kiss, romance, Seoul, sleep together, soap opera, Son Ye Jin, South Korea, tearjerker, tears, Wang Ji Hye, weather forecast. game over, Yoon Ji Hoo | 2 Comments »
Jacob Black, Bella Boringface, and Edward Cullen of the Twilight franchise.
The Sexy Supernatural Boys: Jared Padalecki, who plays Sam Winchester, and Jensen Ackles, who plays Dean Winchester
